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Thoughts & Opinions

Personal: On Intentionally Living

November 24, 2019

I’ve been a bit quiet for a few months now and while it’s not exactly necessary, I wanted to address “the elephant in the room” – mainly as a reminder, but also as a manifesto and a bit of insight into what direction I’m taking. Full disclosure – The blog post ahead deals with very heavy topics such as depression and abuse. To skip, please go to A New Direction.

Where it went Downhill

This whole mess kind of started back in May actually. I was on a roll with the concert photography gigs I was getting and had just gotten the green light to photograph L.A Gun’s Phoenix, AZ show. And then, it happened. I received a text from my dad during work. He told me that my uncle died. It’s bad enough when family dies, but this uncle was different. It was because of him that I learned that photography is actually in my genes: my great grandfather photographed what he could during the Mexican Revolution, my grandfather focused on photography to document his life as a French National immigrant living in Mexico, my dad as a nightlife and club photographer, and my uncle who focused more on family and travel. Mexico is a pretty classist place– social status matters a lot, and my uncle was one of the very few people in our extended family that always welcomed us with open arms, never judged us, and always thought highly of us. The news came as a swift kick to my stomach, and I quickly started spiraling. I stopped all concert photography, I avoided most of everyone in my life and my mind was constantly filled with regrets: I never got to spend more time with him and his wife. I turned down the offer to live with them in Mexico instead of moving back to the States. I ducked a lot of his messages and calls because I didn’t want to feel like the messenger between him and my dad. I didn’t take advantage of having people that actually cared about me close to me. I was left broken.

And then, I Spiraled: Work

Despite trying to keep it together, the news eventually affected my work at the time with the only option to quit due to my mental health. Things had changed heavily, and the moment I started messing up, it was like there was nothing I could do to make things okay again. The more I tried, the more I kept messing up. I was a real mess, and finally made the decision to leave the job I was at, which ended in my taking a three-month break to heal and figure out my next steps. Unfortunately, not having financial stability messed with my sleeping and soon enough, I was lucky if I could manage to fall asleep by 5am for as long as 3 hours a night.

Good Things come with a Price

Once I felt okay enough, I found the closest thing to a realistic version of a dream job that I could: working remotely and getting paid exactly what my services are worth. I almost didn’t get the job though. Part of the recruitment for my new job included retrieving paperwork from past employers: the real nightmare was opening myself to communication with my previous boss (before the one I had recently left). To outline a few of the things I had endured with this person: sexual harassment, bullying, intimidation, emotional and verbal abuse, substance abuse coercion, and more. It was the most heart-wrenching and terrifying feeling to know that my getting my current job depended on him releasing a few forms to me that he had not sent to my new address or email account. Once I got my items through mentioning certain legalities, I stopped my communication with him – in fact, I refuse to check the email account he has of me anymore.

Lost, but Somehow Hopeful

I’ve slowly managed to pick up the pieces when it comes to work and financial stability. I’m in a good place with work where I’m appreciated and constantly praised (which is my favorite thing in the universe considering all the abuse I went through in the past). Unfortunately, but maybe somewhat fortunate as well, I picked up on the whole fight or flight dilemma where most of my responses are literal flight. I’ve had the itch to travel now more than ever to escape what I feel and what I think. I’m too much of a pacifist to fight; I personally detest confrontation, so running is kind of an okay thing for me and helps me deal with things in my own way. Though I’m fully aware that there are people out there that have it worse than me, I’m still pained and I think it’s valid to express it. My idea of a relationship is completely skewed, I believe words much more easily, I second-guess absolutely everything I do to the point that I’m exhausted from fighting my own thoughts on a constant basis. I’m currently no stranger to blood-curdling screams inside of my car. Despite all of this, I’m staying hopeful.

A New Direction

Currently, I don’t think I have the strength to get back into concert photography as much as I’d like, so I don’t think I’ll be pursuing any more gigs until Spring of next year. In the meantime, I want to take advantage of my interest in traveling and content creation especially now that I have the ability of working remotely. I’ll be testing out this new direction with my last impromptu travel of the year in Las Vegas next month, so please keep an eye out. I’ll also be modifying my Instagram account and content to better suit travel blogging and content creation. My hope is that next year I’ll be traveling a lot more frequently with my first big international travel towards mid 2020. I want to be able to live more intentionally and with better control of my actions and decisions while keeping my interest in photography alive, which is a bit in honor of my late uncle. And who knows? Maybe I’ll be able to share the pictures he loved so much from my great grandfather on the Mexican Revolution soon.

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Part 1 of 2: An Open Letter to Those I’m Grieving

On Becoming a Concert Photographer

Part 2 of 2: A (Long Overdue) Open Letter to Myself

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About

Danyy here! Most times you can find me at the photo pit, other times you can find me babbling on about all things Gyaru.

Did I mention I miss O’ahu a lot? I finally made Did I mention I miss O’ahu a lot? I finally made a blog post about it!
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Check it out for recommendations, more pictures, and if that’s not enough, head on over to my Instagram stories for a full spam of absolutely everything from that trip! 🌺 🏝 ✨ .
Have you been to O’ahu before? What did you think about it?
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#ohnoesdani #girlswhotravel #waikikibeach #beachvibes #islandlife #lifeinoahu #dreamdestinations #beachgetaway #imisstraveling #solotraveler #oceanview #gameoftones #travelholic #seetheworld #theisland
Waikiki sunsets are amazing. ✨ . Hawai’i has b Waikiki sunsets are amazing. ✨ .
Hawai’i has been a dream destination for me that was always slightly out of reach. This year before the travel restrictions, I was able to go for a full week while attending a design conference.
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I’m hopeful that I’ll go back to visit soon! Though I spent most of my time within Waikiki, there’s so much that’s still left to explore. 🌺 🏝 🌊
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#ohnoesdani #girlswhotravel #waikikibeach #beachvibes #islandlife #lifeinoahu #dreamdestinations #beachgetaway #imisstraveling #solotraveler #oceanview #gameoftones #travelholic #seetheworld #theisland
One thing that really frustrates me is that I don’t have a makeup routine. I just kind of… go with whatever at the time and never can I actually recreate the same look I had a few days ago.
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Since I work from home, I don’t really have chances to go out and dress up like  I used to anyway, so I’ve been living it up in zero makeup and pj’s all day every day.
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Now that the セレブーGAL guide is out, I’ve got half a mind to order a new tracksuit too (because yes, I own a Juicy Couture tracksuit from wayyy back in the day).
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Anyway, here’s my face from a couple of days ago. 🌺 ✨ .
#ohnoesdani #gyaru #gaijingyaru #ギャル #gaijin #セレブー  #latingyaru #mexicangyaru #soylatina #chicanoculture #latinxculture #ギャル #オラオラ系 #alamexicana #gyarumexico #jfashion #japanesefashion #ブランド #gyarulatinoamerica #blog #ブログ #ギャルブロガー #gyarulatina #motd #fotd
Blog post UP! ↑↑ I may have gone a teeny tiny Blog post UP! ↑↑ I may have gone a teeny tiny bit overboard on this guide but the Serebu Gyaru guide is finally up and running!
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I wrote about this on one of my previous posts and I really wanted to get this guide going with the different ways to carry Serebu GAL style alongside a few tips. ✨
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I’m trying to keep a similar format to the original guide which is the Old School Gyaru one, so you can expect more guides in this same style too!
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Anyway whether you love 90’s-00’s fashion or the more modern and sometimes elegant (life)styles, you’ll want to give this a read!
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Also per request, I’m already planning out the next guide so stay excited!
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#ohnoesdani #gyaru #gaijingyaru #CelebrityGal #ギャル #gaijin #セレブー #セレブーGAL #kyabajou #cabaret #hostess #Y2K #emiriawiz #ギャル #オラオラ系 #elizaikeda #voguegirljapan #90sceleb #jfashion #japanesefashion #ブランド #highfashion #blog #ブログ #ギャルブロガー #90sfashion #00sfashion #fashionbrand
Blog post UP! ↑↑ New blog post, kind of! A lot Blog post UP! ↑↑ New blog post, kind of! A lot of new followers despite my inactivity so hi there! I’m Danyy.
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I’ve been in the gaijin gyaru community since around 2007 or so, but I’ve never been quite the participant. My favorite style technically is kurogyaru and favorite gal brand is D.I.Aspec (RIP).
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For quite a while, I’ve been into oldschool gyaru style (late 90’s early to mid 2000s). My favorite western brands tend to be surf ones.
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I’m a lover of knowledge, especially when it comes to gyaru subculture and fashion, and while I’m super inconsistent in posting, I really hope the information from my posts makes it worthwhile!
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Please tell me about yourself! ↓↓
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#ohnoesdani #gyaru #gaijingyaru #kuronba #ギャル #gaijin #kurogyaru #latingyaru #gyarulatina #96gal #黒ギャル #外人 #外人ギャル #ギャル #オラオラ系  #メイク #makeup #jfashion #japanesefashion #getwildbesexy #oldschoolgyaru #aboutme #復活 #エッグ #selfie #blogger #blog #azfashion #fotd #ブログ #ギャルブロガー
Long time no post! My new promotion happened just Long time no post! My new promotion happened just a while ago, I’ve been dedicating day and night to finding a salesperson for my business (finally found one thank goodness 💕), and this quarantine has me playing World of Warcraft in my spare time.
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Word on the grapevine is that Japan won’t be shipping out international mail effective in a few days so I’m kinda happy I got my package today (after letting it sit for a month in the system lol). 😂 😅 .
I’m always like a kid at a candy store whenever I get stuff! I focused on getting a lot of old school memorabilia to celebrate my birthday and promotion. A couple of the items even came in their original packaging which was nice too!
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Now that my schedule is clearing up a bit, I’ll be able to come back to blogging and respond to comments from last month lol. 😂 😭
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#ohnoesdani #gyaru #gaijingyaru #ギャル #gaijin #黒ギャル #外人 #外人ギャル #ギャル #jfashion #japanesefashion #getwildbesexy #oldschoolgyaru #gyaruo #ギャル男 #EGG #エッグ #gyaruscans #magazinescans #eggmagazine #Shibuya #渋谷 #blogger #blog #fashionbrand #ブランド #gyarubrand
Blog post UP! ↑↑ Still Alive: Gyaru Brands . T Blog post UP! ↑↑ Still Alive: Gyaru Brands
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This is a… IDK-How-Many-Parts Series of all of the brands that were forgotten (at the very least by me) but are still alive! I’ve started with the monster that is @anap_official since there are quite a few sub-brands under it that are definitely worth a look!
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You’ll find the website URL, IG account, and my opinion whether it’s worth purchasing or not. Those that are have sample products and how/why they can be used.
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I’ll get a bit too business-like here but no brand can actually exist without support, so if you like the products and think they can help your GAL style, please support them by buying the brand(s)!
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#ohnoesdani #gyaru #gaijingyaru #ANAP #ギャル #gaijin #ANAPgirl #GAL #ANAPLatina #ANAPMIMPI #ANAPHome #外人 #外人ギャル #ギャル #オラオラ系  #jfashion #japanesefashion ブランド #blogger #blog #ブログ #ギャルブロガー #getwildbesexy #oldschoolgyaru
(Check out my Shopping highlights for the full pic (Check out my Shopping highlights for the full pictures) ✨ .
I spent my entire weekend shopping and honestly I’m pretty tired LOL.
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Mercari had some pretty good items at great prices this time, so I bought a little more than I had ever done before. I’m still trying to figure out how I managed to do this but it happened!
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I’m considering this a happy promotion x early birthday present, especially since now I have to save up for the other things in my life. ✈️
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I’m a bit behind though, so I’m hoping to post about my last gets & coords before traveling for work again!
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#ohnoesdani #gyaru #gaijingyaru #kuronba #ギャル #gaijin #kurogyaru #latingyaru #gyarulatina #96gal #黒ギャル #外人 #外人ギャル #ギャル #オラオラ系  #メイク #makeup #jfashion #japanesefashion #getwildbesexy #oldschoolgyaru #galmake #復活 #エッグ #selfie #blogger #blog #azfashion #fotd #ブログ #ギャルブロガー
Blog post UP! ↑↑ What’s your idea of what GA Blog post UP! ↑↑ What’s your idea of what GAL in the future will look like?
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ViVi recently took a crack at this with Nicole Fujita and after reading about it, I really hope that’s not the reality that Gyaru will be facing.
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Retro is in; the 90’s primarily! I want to believe that oldschool Gyaru brands and styles will make a comeback for that reason, so I created my own version of what I think the future of GAL could look like. 🌺
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#ohnoesdani #gyaru #gaijingyaru #celebritygyaru #ギャル #gaijin #ViVi雑誌 #GAL #NicoleFujita #SNS #SNStrends #外人 #外人ギャル #ギャル #オラオラ系  #jfashion #japanesefashion #glowup #blogger #blog #ブログ #ギャルブロガー #fashionconcept #fashionforecast
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